Given today’s events, I would like to take a moment and pay tribute to those members of the Mountain West Conference who chose to ‘lip off’ over the last couple of weeks; enjoying pot shot after pot shot at BYU’s expense.
I know how badly you loved milking the Y’s football program for everything it was worth, but listen people – calling the Big Brother of the conference ‘arrogant’, making fun of its core religious values and basically denigrating the one team that brought in 70% of the television revenue generated by a weak-sauce, pathetic TV network was NOT the way to get us to stay. It was like listening to a bunch of deadbeats who refuse to work (i.e. can’t win a conference championship to save their lives) scream at the rich kid on the block because he’s sick and tired of giving you money and receiving NO return on investment WHATSOEVER!
Anyway, let’s get the easy one’s done first:
UTAH: You went to the right conference. Have fun drinking from the trough of the 12-pac.
AIR FORCE: The Fighting Falcons were the only institution I know of that kept their head above the muck rather than steeped in it. Thank you Air Force – not only for your continued class as one of our nation’s service academies, but for maintaining the honor and respect that comes standard issue with America’s fighting men and women. Now, on to the rest of the morons:
COLORADO STATE and the DENVER POST: Ahhh. The place where the rumors started flying on Augist 18.I really don’t know what to say about you guys. I’m afraid that you are about to be lambasted with a little guilt by association. When Mr. Henderson came out with his cute little article, calling BYU delusional and arrogant, telling us to basically sit down, shut up and continue allowing Colorado State to live off the BYU dole, I couldn’t help but sit back and laugh. If he wanted to find the definition of ‘delusional’ or arrogant’, he needed to look no further than the recently Big 12-departed ‘Buffs’ in his backyard.
I remember how proud the Denver Post was of Colorado’s move to the 12-Pac. To bad he didn’t read the rest of the nation’s ‘congratulations’ to the Big-12 for shedding an athletic program that was rapidly on its way to total academic suspension by the NCAA.
All that being said, so long Colorado State. Enjoy your irrelevance in a conference that no longer has a TV deal.
WYOMING: Now don’t get too excited by the picture. Focus… fooocuuusss. Here let’s sing a song that will bring you back to this post, should you be the rare Wyoming fan who can actually read. Sing it with me!
“B, double E, double R, U, N, BEEER RUUUN! B, double E, double R, U, N, beeeerrr RUUunnn! All we need is a ten and a fiver, a set of keys and a sober driver, B, double E, double R, U, N, BEEeerr ruuunnnnn!”
Yes, you classless bunch of drunk, sheep-loving red necks. Now whose religion and values do you propose to make fun of now that BYU is gone? You certainly can’t make fun of your own… you don’t have any!
Your stadium was the only one where if I drove to see a game, I had to change my license plate from UTAH to WYOMING prior to parking next to your dust bowl of a stadium. Funny thing is, any Wyoming fan reading this post is probably proud, laughing to himself and thinking, “Ya, hah, Hah, Hah. We sure do vandalize good… hah, hah, hah.” But really,
I shouldn’t be too hard. It’s difficult to act like a normal human being when you have drank so many of your brain cells in to utter oblivion. Here… let me help you forget your sorry state and help you focus on something that will help you feel much better. “BAAAA! BAAAAAAAAA! BAAAAAAAA!”
TCU: Jennifer Engel – that was cute what you said about BYU erecting a Touchdown Joseph similar to the Touchdown Jesus that Notre Dame has. Just so we are clear, you, the idiot from the Denver Post and ESPN's Andy Katz were the only ones to call us the Notre Dame of the West. BYU never made any comparison. In fact, every time independence came up with our Athletic Director, he was clear to say that we are NOT a Notre Dame.Hey, speaking of erecting things, good luck finding the funding to complete your stadium. Good luck filling it now that BYU and UTAH are no longer coming around to visit on a regular basis. Heaven knows that no one in your neck of the woods cares to see TCU play.
Enjoy your smugness. Maybe, someday, when you're a big girl, you will be able to have your own HD television studio with the capability of broadcasting TCU football internationally, into roughly 50 million homes... or maybe not.
SAN DIEGO: Too bad your football team isn’t as moderate as your climate. Hell… you’d take moderate on a good year given the horrible success you have on the football field.Didn’t your coach come out recently and say something about, “nobody wanting to play an independent BYU?” Yaaaa, wait - no. Don’t deny it. He said it right before Texas scheduled a home and home with BYU starting in 2013.
Correct me if I’m wrong, here, but… didn’t you just lose the lease to the football stadium you’re playing in? Man, that must suck, being so insolvent you can’t even afford your own football stadium. What are you going to do now that you won’t be able to sell out your ‘leased’ arena for the BYU - San Diego State game? Oh yah… your going to come crawling back, begging we come play you because “we need the money!”
NEW MEXICO: Other than, “It sucks to be you,” I really don’t know what else to say.In closing, I would just like to add that for all of you who are making fun of our other sports going to the WCC, be advised that they will be fine. You can continue to play your tournaments in Las Vegas and try to drum up some support for your Olympic sports. Rest assured, with the $6 to $8 million BYU stands to pull in on an annual basis, our other sports will be taken care of just fine.
Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to watch a little TV. Maybe I’ll turn it to THE MOUNTAIN. Chances are there is a good BYU vs. FILL-IN-THE-Blank game on. Besides, the station will no longer exist after summer 2011. Good luck finding some exposure guys (except for you, Wyoming. Please, for the love of mercy, STOP exposing yourself!).
