Panda Bears are Assholes

I was intending to start this off with a rant on Ute fans and raper-terrorists, however, a darker threat looms and I feel the need to warn the public.

I have long decried the intentions of Panda bears—otherwise known as "Nature's Douche Bag". For reasons unknown to me, people around the world have flocked to the defense of the these bamboo-sucking pricks, throwing concerts and wine-mixers in "their" name, with proceeds being dumped into educational videos teaching male Panda's to get boners for lady Pandas.

Brothers, Sisters, we are messing with fire.

Teaching male Pandas (Fella Pandas as they are known in the scientific community) to DO (to make love at) Lady Pandas, perpetuates a species that hates humankind and our ability to wear clothing.

Think I'm exaggerating? To quote William Shakespeare, "Check this shit out".