Incriminating Silence

That's the feel I got when seeing the lack of posts on this blog since our season opening win.

But I've sorted it all out.

When you love a team to the point of fully invested fanaticism it's easy to hurt when your team is struggling. And before we get into a debate of wether it's worth it to be "hurt" over something as silly as football, I'd like to define where the hurt lies.

A BYU win is not a reflection on me. A BYU loss is not a reflection on me. I'm not the guy on the field busting my ass, bleeding, exhausted and covered in bruises. I'm not the guy on the sideline who's studied the schemes of an opposing team, who's evaluated my guys based on the knowledge of working with them day in and day out, gaining insight into different players work ethics and courage.

I'm the guy that sits in the stands sipping on a caffeine free Diet Coke. At times I hear fellow cougar"fans" within the stadium abrasively tear apart our head coach and players with such brilliant insights as, "It's so simple, all they need to do is (fill in the blank)", all while sipping on their caffeine free Diet Coke.

That's where it hurts.

I've been going to BYU football games quite literally since I can remember. So many good memories come from sweating out miraculous wins and losses and outright thumpings with my best friend, dad, uncle, brothers and brother in law. Each year the names on the jerseys change but my view is still that of a boy watching his heroes battle it out in front of 70 thousand.

When I hear fair weather fans calling for the heads of Bronco and his players it drives me nuts! How spineless to abandon "your team" at the first sign of trouble. Why boo "your team" when they're already down? I believe these rat-finks do so because they actually see wins and losses as a direct reflection on them. They want to take credit for all of the off-season training and the countless hours our guys spend in the film room. But the moment trials present themselves they distant themselves from any blemish and demand perfection restored.

In the grand scheme of things, football is low on the list of priorities. I do not believe it wise to become obsessed to the point where our lives are out of balance, but, being a fan, and loving a team gives us opportunities to experience and witness the highs and lows of life's drama within a four hour spectrum of life; suffering through a one-sided blowout, holding our collective breath on a 4th and 18, peeking through gated fingers as we watch our defense hold steady on a crucial 3rd down. Being a fan allows us to test our character against those things we claim to believe, especially if you wholeheartedly believe in the life philosophies that team boldly teaches.

There are too many people out there eager to jump on the hate-train aimed at BYU. Too many bitter souls who take delight in a BYU loss. They, like fair weather fans, see a win over BYU as a personal win for them. These people feed on sour emotions from those of us who root for BYU even in the down times. Their hate may be because of the LDS affiliation, or it may be rooted in the sound beatings we've handed out for decades. Regardless of their motivations, it's time for the real fans to buck up, pay our dues, and take our lumps along with the team by supporting them through difficult times.

Is this a life and death situation? No. But will it give insight to the make-up of our character? Yes. Is this a self-righteous post.

Hell yes.

I'll end with a quote from Teddy, who nicely sums up what it is to believe in yourself, and in your compatriots.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Go Cougs!

A Great Time To Be A Cougar

Today is the day, my friends. Today is the beginning of the next chapter in BYU football history. I think the idea of two quarterbacks makes us all antsy, but at least you can be happy that you'll see both Riley and Jake in action today. Today we'll get a glimpse of the future. How is BYU going to fill in the TE gaps? Is Kariya going to be Oklahoma-game good on a consistent basis? Is Quezada really the next Unga, but with supersonic afterburners? Is our defense going to figure out how to shut down option quarterbacks?

Finally, the season is upon us and we will find out the answers to these questions. I wish I could be in Provo tonight to see the next generation of Cougars take the reins, in the presence, incidentally, of some of the greatest Cougar QBs from the past for the halftime reunion thing. I hear MacMahon is planning on finishing his degree, and eventually taking his place in the BYU hall of fame. How cool is that?

I really like the Huskies as people (how can you not root for Sark?), except for the handful that can't let go of "the Locker penalty" of 2008. So I can't really frame this as a good versus evil game, which is always nice as a self-righteous cougar fan. There has never been a team hungrier for a road win, and Locker is probably the best quarterback BYU will see this season. It's going to be a hard-fought game, but if BYU can come together fast and control Locker's running lanes, we'll be just fine. This is the great and terrible LaVell Edwards Stadium, after all. We don't let domesticated dogs like Huskies waltz in and push around apex predators like Cougars in our own mountains.



Now a bit on independence. I currently live in London. Do you know how I'll be watching the Washington game? Starting at midnight, I'll be frantically searching for an unreliable broadcast on Justintv or channelsurfing.net. I will spend 4 hours looking at a four-inch screen with pixels the size of watermelon seeds jostle around in a rough approximation of a football game. The whole game I will be anxious not just about the outcome, but at the possibility that at crucial moments the video will decide to buffer, or worse, cut out completely, requiring another 20 minutes for me to search for a new broadcast. I did this for all of BYU's games last year. Sadly, there were some that I actually missed altogether.

INDEPENDENCE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO COUGAR NATION. I know that people are nervous about bowl tie-ins, scheduling, the BCS, conference championships, etc. But strip all that away for a while, and think about the reason for college football. It's about loving the game, supporting the team, the camaraderie of the Cougar collective, the deep and irrational emotional attachment to every season, game and play.



This is a screenshot of the Oklahoma-BYU game which I watched on BYUtv (of Clawson about to introduce Bradford to the fine turf of the fancy new stadium). You can watch it too, if you like, along with several other games. I also watched the BYU press conference (the "declaration of independence") as well as several other BYUtv productions, and my smile grew wider and wider until the corners of my mouth touched each other on the back of my head. It's beautiful.

You can also buy a subscription to every ESPN college football game online, so my bases are completely covered.

"Increasing exposure" is the understatement of the century. BYU is finally going to be a light on a hill (self-righteous enough for you?) as opposed to a hermit crab in its shell under a rock at the bottom of an ocean. Not one of the popular oceans, either. One of the lame ones like the South Atlantic. Any other good thing that comes from independence (like money, better match-ups, etc) is just gravy.

Go, my friends in the hallowed valley of the Cougars. Breathe that mountain air, feel the rumbling of the stands beneath your feet, scream your lungs out, and appreciate that it's a great time to be a cougar.

Also, get me a Steve Young autograph. Rise and Shout!

Nevada, Fresno and Craig Thompson Meet-n-Greet

When my oldest child went to Kindergarten, the first day of class was basically nothing more than a meet-n-greet between the teacher, students and parents, who were invited to sit in on the class for the day. After about an hour of singing songs, doing crafts, and teacher-student introductions, the little Kindergartners were excused to go watch a one-hour movie while the teacher and parents discussed “business”.

As Nevada and Fresno have recently “upgraded” conferences , I thought it would be appropriate to hold a quick meet-n-greet between the relevant parties involved. After all, despite Commissioner Thompson saying that Fresno and Nevada’s conference invites weren’t related to BYU’s exploration of Football independence, I have a feeling that the players at this party really don’t know each other as well as they should.

So, on with introductions. First, Nevada and Fresno, I would like you to meet Commissioner Thompson (see photo below).

It should be noted that he is not the dummy head holding the fake weave. He is the fake weave. In fact, from this point on, you should lovingly refer to him as “Hair”. Not only because of the perfectly sculpted quaff that graces the man’s head, but because it is every bit as fake, false and synthetic as his personality. Hair is the Commissioner of the Mountain West Conference (see photo below).

You should probably know now that you guys, Boise State and TCU are the powerhouses of the conference , Hair will be relying on you to generate money and television contract interest for the rest of the sucks that call themselves MWC affiliates. If you don’t, the $500,000 you were making annually with the WAC will look like a cash cow compared to the piles of dung the beetles in your new conference generate.

In fact, you should probably watch your back. If by some chance you ARE able to generate revenue, your conference mates (i.e. dung beetles) will zealously raid your checking account (i.e. dung) and jealously guard the piles of money (i.e. crap) they remove from your coffers. They will rationalize their theft by chanting the phrase, “We are all equals, we are all equals…” over and over again until you almost believe it.

I bring all this up because Hair is the HDBIC (Head Dung-Beetle-In-Charge). He may seem nice and cordial now, but despite the fumes coming from his mouth, there is really only one reason you were invited: To keep BYU from wiping the MWC from the bottom of their shoes. You saw how that turned out.

Anyway, should you have any questions about Hair, please forward them to the Denver Post. They are really good at making s*!t smell like roses (see Denver Post articles concerning the Colorado Buff’s)!

Now, Hair, allow me to introduce you to Milton Glick, President of the University of Nevada and John D. Welty, President of California State University, Fresno (see file photo below).

Milton and John were instrumental in helping Karl Benson (see photo below)…

…draft and organize “The Project” that would ultimately land all of BYU’s non-revenue sports in the WAC (see photo below).

They were also instrumental in the single handed destruction of the WAC when they turned coat and bolted from the very contract they helped draft.

It is said that a man is easily judged by the company he keeps. Well, Hair, you struck pay dirt with these two! They are right up your alley. If I were you, however, I’d make ‘em sign a $10 million dollar contract with you. Mainly because the moment they know for certain that their collective a$$es are certain to be sued into oblivion, they are probably going to go crawling back to the plot of land that they helped scorch.

Anyway, I hope these introductions have helped. Again, if you have any questions, or if there is any confusion about anything I’ve written here, shoot an email to the Denver Post. They’ll make up an answer for you at their earliest convenience.

A Fond Farewell to Mountain West Conference

Given today’s events, I would like to take a moment and pay tribute to those members of the Mountain West Conference who chose to ‘lip off’ over the last couple of weeks; enjoying pot shot after pot shot at BYU’s expense.

I know how badly you loved milking the Y’s football program for everything it was worth, but listen people – calling the Big Brother of the conference ‘arrogant’, making fun of its core religious values and basically denigrating the one team that brought in 70% of the television revenue generated by a weak-sauce, pathetic TV network was NOT the way to get us to stay. It was like listening to a bunch of deadbeats who refuse to work (i.e. can’t win a conference championship to save their lives) scream at the rich kid on the block because he’s sick and tired of giving you money and receiving NO return on investment WHATSOEVER!
Anyway, let’s get the easy one’s done first:

UTAH: You went to the right conference. Have fun drinking from the trough of the 12-pac.

AIR FORCE: The Fighting Falcons were the only institution I know of that kept their head above the muck rather than steeped in it. Thank you Air Force – not only for your continued class as one of our nation’s service academies, but for maintaining the honor and respect that comes standard issue with America’s fighting men and women.

Now, on to the rest of the morons:

COLORADO STATE and the DENVER POST: Ahhh. The place where the rumors started flying on Augist 18.

I really don’t know what to say about you guys. I’m afraid that you are about to be lambasted with a little guilt by association. When Mr. Henderson came out with his cute little article, calling BYU delusional and arrogant, telling us to basically sit down, shut up and continue allowing Colorado State to live off the BYU dole, I couldn’t help but sit back and laugh. If he wanted to find the definition of ‘delusional’ or arrogant’, he needed to look no further than the recently Big 12-departed ‘Buffs’ in his backyard.

I remember how proud the Denver Post was of Colorado’s move to the 12-Pac. To bad he didn’t read the rest of the nation’s ‘congratulations’ to the Big-12 for shedding an athletic program that was rapidly on its way to total academic suspension by the NCAA.

All that being said, so long Colorado State. Enjoy your irrelevance in a conference that no longer has a TV deal.

WYOMING: Now don’t get too excited by the picture. Focus… fooocuuusss. Here let’s sing a song that will bring you back to this post, should you be the rare Wyoming fan who can actually read. Sing it with me!

“B, double E, double R, U, N, BEEER RUUUN! B, double E, double R, U, N, beeeerrr RUUunnn! All we need is a ten and a fiver, a set of keys and a sober driver, B, double E, double R, U, N, BEEeerr ruuunnnnn!”

Yes, you classless bunch of drunk, sheep-loving red necks. Now whose religion and values do you propose to make fun of now that BYU is gone? You certainly can’t make fun of your own… you don’t have any!

Your stadium was the only one where if I drove to see a game, I had to change my license plate from UTAH to WYOMING prior to parking next to your dust bowl of a stadium. Funny thing is, any Wyoming fan reading this post is probably proud, laughing to himself and thinking, “Ya, hah, Hah, Hah. We sure do vandalize good… hah, hah, hah.” But really,

I shouldn’t be too hard. It’s difficult to act like a normal human being when you have drank so many of your brain cells in to utter oblivion. Here… let me help you forget your sorry state and help you focus on something that will help you feel much better. “BAAAA! BAAAAAAAAA! BAAAAAAAA!”

TCU: Jennifer Engel – that was cute what you said about BYU erecting a Touchdown Joseph similar to the Touchdown Jesus that Notre Dame has. Just so we are clear, you, the idiot from the Denver Post and ESPN's Andy Katz were the only ones to call us the Notre Dame of the West. BYU never made any comparison. In fact, every time independence came up with our Athletic Director, he was clear to say that we are NOT a Notre Dame.

Hey, speaking of erecting things, good luck finding the funding to complete your stadium. Good luck filling it now that BYU and UTAH are no longer coming around to visit on a regular basis. Heaven knows that no one in your neck of the woods cares to see TCU play.

Enjoy your smugness. Maybe, someday, when you're a big girl, you will be able to have your own HD television studio with the capability of broadcasting TCU football internationally, into roughly 50 million homes... or maybe not.

SAN DIEGO: Too bad your football team isn’t as moderate as your climate. Hell… you’d take moderate on a good year given the horrible success you have on the football field.
Didn’t your coach come out recently and say something about, “nobody wanting to play an independent BYU?” Yaaaa, wait - no. Don’t deny it. He said it right before Texas scheduled a home and home with BYU starting in 2013.

Correct me if I’m wrong, here, but… didn’t you just lose the lease to the football stadium you’re playing in? Man, that must suck, being so insolvent you can’t even afford your own football stadium. What are you going to do now that you won’t be able to sell out your ‘leased’ arena for the BYU - San Diego State game? Oh yah… your going to come crawling back, begging we come play you because “we need the money!”

NEW MEXICO: Other than, “It sucks to be you,” I really don’t know what else to say.

In closing, I would just like to add that for all of you who are making fun of our other sports going to the WCC, be advised that they will be fine. You can continue to play your tournaments in Las Vegas and try to drum up some support for your Olympic sports. Rest assured, with the $6 to $8 million BYU stands to pull in on an annual basis, our other sports will be taken care of just fine.

Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to watch a little TV. Maybe I’ll turn it to THE MOUNTAIN. Chances are there is a good BYU vs. FILL-IN-THE-Blank game on. Besides, the station will no longer exist after summer 2011. Good luck finding some exposure guys (except for you, Wyoming. Please, for the love of mercy, STOP exposing yourself!).

We've waited long enough

One of the problems with being a football fanatic is understanding the right time to stop talking about about your team. Though I love the Cougs, I don't want to be a one dimensional 31 year old man-child, so I force myself during the off-season to explore other interests. Like staring at the wall waiting for football season to begin.

Personally, I start the ritual of silence a few weeks into January and hold steady through February—just in time for the lead up conversations that take us into Spring ball. After April and the spring scrimmage it's hard to get much satisfaction from football conversations as all of the talk on message boards and in the media go from absurd to ridiculous. It's all just guess-work and dream scenarios before fall ball.

"What if they move Riley to running back, Heaps to Head Coach, and Bronco to QB? Wouldn't that flippin' rock?!"

Yes, but the very fact that we're discussing such absurd "what ifs" is a clue to how boring baseball is. Is it August yet?

Yes. Yes. It is finally appropriate to once again discuss BYU football without sounding pathetic. And not a moment too soon.

So welcome back, Self-Righteous Readers! Let the great debates begin!

Who should start, Heaps, Riley....Bronco?

We have much to discuss and only 25 days to decide how the season is going to play out. Let us begin!