Andy Dalton's Coming to Town

Aside from ESPN's College Game Day setting up shop in Provo—and a game between two top 20 teams—fans in Provo will be treated to the family-shattering antics of an ugly red head, this Saturday evening at LES.

Why does this get me excited? It doesn't, it makes me frightened.

Any person with commonsense can tell you redheads are unpredictable. If you see one with a smile on their face, they've either just started something on fire, or about to. Follow a trail of tortured cats and broken family mementos and you'll find a sobbing redhead at the end of the line, cutting himself on his thigh or cornering a cousin to force a kiss upon.

They are not to be trusted.This brings me to my point in this post.

Andy Dalton has shown several times this year his ability to be ineffective on the field. Plane Jane, Vanilla, stand-up comedy from a female—what I'm trying to say is, most times, he's pointless.

But beware the curse of the vitriol-filled redheads. They don't have blood like you and I. Coursing through their veins is hate, pumped by a rotten tomato in the place where a human heart should be. Though the point could be made that they are different than normals(valid), it's more of a true statement to say "They're something else, something different".

The ugly redhead is not easily discouraged from the task at hand. If you're their cousin, and they want to kiss you...pucker-up. If you have a shirt they think will look better on them, it's best to disrobe, the shirt is coming off anyways, it's just a matter of whether or not it resembles a shirt once the freckled hands hold it as their own. Redheads destroy, and that may happen on Saturday night.

TCU has a solid D, no question, but it's going to have to be their offense that wins the game. Our "O" can put points up on anyone, but the game will be won if our defense can handle the redheaded hate-mongerer. If Dalton can manage any kind of offense, I think the Cougs are in trouble.

That said, it's time for my prediction.

BYU 27 TCU 22

GO COUGS!

Asstec Predictions

I'm the ultimate optimist, so it worries me to feel a little paranoid about the SDSU game. With TCU coming up next week it could be very easy to look past tomorrow and have a poor showing, by eaking out an ugly victory. I think we'll get a very honest look of what type of team the cougars are this year, tomorrow. If they show up and TCB (tackle carriers of the ball) then we truly have a team more focused than last year, and that bodes well going into the final stretch.

I'm siding with my optimism, BYU 48 SDSU 17.

Universe article

Hey fellas, below I pasted the text of a recent Daily Universe article written by Seth Stoker that I liked regarding Coach Mendenhall's recent BYU fan comments. I don't know if you care, but I like what Seth wrote.

BRONCO DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING

Last week was one of controversy for head coach Bronco Mendenhall and the BYU football team, stemming from the coach’s comments concerning fans earlier in the week, followed by the dismissal of backup safety Shiloah Te’o.
By now everyone who has any interest in the football team has heard Mendenhall’s comments concerning fan criticism, saying the level of “criticism usually matches the level of education” of the person it comes from.
This comment sparked anger in the hearts of self-proclaimed “educated” Cougar fans everywhere. These fans were outraged that Mendenhall once again confirmed his feelings for the BYU fan base.
How dare this pretentious coach discount the very group of people the athletic department relies on to patronize the team with donations, ticket sales, concessions, etc.?
A local journalist even called Mendenhall out, claiming the coach owed BYU fans an apology.This is getting a little out of hand. Did any of you ever stop to think that he was right? Put yourselves in his shoes. You are hired to save the program after the Gary Crowton debacle, and immediately take the team to a bowl game the next year, followed by three — possibly four — 10-win seasons in a row.
During this phenomenal resurrection of a storied tradition, many fans still find fault in nearly every facet of the program. Perfection is the only acceptable outcome for these fans, and anything short of it means the sky is falling.
How’s that for a thank you? Is it any wonder why this guy is tired of hearing how to do his job from hosts of people who have never set foot on a football field? I’d venture to say that claiming to be able to do a coach’s job better than he can is an even larger form of arrogance than what Mendenhall showed with his comments.
Plus, from a logical perspective, he is right. How many fans know which way a receiver was supposed to cut when Max Hall threw an interception? How many actually know what is supposed to happen in Jaime Hill’s defensive scheme?
By now we all know what we’re going to get with Mendenhall — an excellent coach and motivator whose players would run through walls. The man can give a lecture with one stare, and without saying a word. A coach who expects to be recruited, and not the other way around.
And he’s going to do things his way. He has since he came to BYU. Why are any fans still surprised when he doesn’t try to win a popularity contest? All the guy cares about is building a successful program while building solid young men. My apologies to those fans who want to feel like Mendenhall needs them, but it’s time for them to realize they need him more.
This guy’s going to maintain a successful football program his way, whether you’re on board or not. The only thing a coach owes his fans is a successful, winning program. Anything beyond that is gravy.
An apology? It’s probably warranted. But this apology needs to come from the fans, not from the coach.

Sticktoitiveness

UNLV Predictions

I'm expecting a win. Anyone else?

Last week UNLV's box score state against Nevada:

UNLV-346 total yards

Nevada-773 total yards

UNLV rushing-70 yards

Nevada rushing-559 yards

Despite all the preseason hyperbole from MWC reporters, UNLV has taken its annual position with the other bottom two-thrids of the conference. There's always the chance of a shocker—especially with Jacobson out with an injury— but we should take this one easy enough.

BYU 38 UNLV 13

Gay and Gayer

Alright maybe those photos of Pitta, Collie and Hall are pretty gay, but we can thank our lucky stars that this is not our quarterback-

Let's count our blessings.

Beautiful Images of BYUs A-Team

I will introduce myself later but as the newest member of the The Self-Righteous blogging team I have something I would like to share with all the readers.

Somehow a fan of the team up north found pictures of Dennis Pitta, Max Hall and Austin Collie. The email started with these words:

“These would make it tough to be a Cougar fan.”







“How do you Kittie fans expect us to take you seriously when these are the guys at the helm of that sinking ship? For your information, these little "cute" pictures are of Max Hall, Dennis Pitta, and ghetto NFL star Austin Collie.”

Take us seriously? It's the same thing as ‘real men wear PINK’ —only real men would take these inspiring pictures together. It's comforting to know that such confidence and grace accompanies our Kittie stars.

Terrible Tales of Tyrants

Friday, October 3rd 2008—Romney Stadium, Logan, Utah. For 20 years, the tyrannous BYU Cougars have reigned over the humble Aggie-Folk of the frozen northern tundra—but those days are soon to be over.

Unknown to the Cougars, is a plot set in motion by the clever Aggie, to score two garbage touchdowns in the waning minutes of the game. Fools! Do they not know that it is best to strike an opponent when they pull starters after the game is well in hand? Clever is the Aggie, as he bides his time and allows the Tyrants a 34-0 lead. The Aggie does his best to stifle laughs as he alone knows the Cougars have taken the bait.

Suddenly, without warning, very quickly, out of nowhere, all-a-sudden, the Aggie lashes out with a ferocity, matched only by a retarded kid playing basketball and he doesn't know the rules to the game and it's kind of annoying but you let him play anyways because you're nice and he's traveling all over the place and fouling and farting and, BAM! 34-7, the Aggies are now in control of the game.

Power corrupts the heart, and woeful for the cougars—the mind, as well. Not taking the Aggie threat seriously the prideful Cougars leave their starters out and insist on running the ball to waste time.

Stupid move idiots! The Aggie is prepared.

After mounting staggering defensive stops— in which the Aggie defense made the Cougar offense look like they weren't even interested in scoring anymore—the mighty Aggie claims possession of the football. This is it. 20 years of being counted out as an easy win on BYU's schedule. 20 years of "pretending" to get kicked around by the evil tyrants down south. 20 years of a one-sided rivalry—the fuel is about to be lit.

With Aggie commoners cheering on their heroes from the bleachers, willing BYU's 3rd-team defense to falter, and with the blessing of the Gods behind them, the fearless Aggie goes for the kill! Aggie hero, Sir Quarterback Borel, rolls to his right with time running out, nobody open! The swarming Cougar defense bears its teeth and positions itself for a pounce. Chaos erupts as Borel scans the end-zone for an open receiver and let's loose the ball as he yells, "By the horn of Aggathor, I SMITE THEE, THOU RAVENOUS BEAST!"

Blood-curdling screams from the field of battle are instantly drowned out by the commoners as a mighty Aggie hero-poet jumps to his feet in celebration! GAME OVER! AGGIES WIN BY THE SCORE OF BYU 34, UTAH STATE 14! The last 5 and a half minutes of the game don't even need to be played as the newly fallen tyrants now know their reign is over! Let the celebration of Utah State fans commence! Break open the kegs of apple beer, Aggie fans, revel in your mighty victory!

Long live the tradition of Aggie football!