Aside from ESPN's College Game Day setting up shop in Provo—and a game between two top 20 teams—fans in Provo will be treated to the family-shattering antics of an ugly red head, this Saturday evening at LES.
Why does this get me excited? It doesn't, it makes me frightened.
Any person with commonsense can tell you redheads are unpredictable. If you see one with a smile on their face, they've either just started something on fire, or about to. Follow a trail of tortured cats and broken family mementos and you'll find a sobbing redhead at the end of the line, cutting himself on his thigh or cornering a cousin to force a kiss upon.
They are not to be trusted.This brings me to my point in this post.
Andy Dalton has shown several times this year his ability to be ineffective on the field. Plane Jane, Vanilla, stand-up comedy from a female—what I'm trying to say is, most times, he's pointless.
But beware the curse of the vitriol-filled redheads. They don't have blood like you and I. Coursing through their veins is hate, pumped by a rotten tomato in the place where a human heart should be. Though the point could be made that they are different than normals(valid), it's more of a true statement to say "They're something else, something different".
The ugly redhead is not easily discouraged from the task at hand. If you're their cousin, and they want to kiss you...pucker-up. If you have a shirt they think will look better on them, it's best to disrobe, the shirt is coming off anyways, it's just a matter of whether or not it resembles a shirt once the freckled hands hold it as their own. Redheads destroy, and that may happen on Saturday night.
TCU has a solid D, no question, but it's going to have to be their offense that wins the game. Our "O" can put points up on anyone, but the game will be won if our defense can handle the redheaded hate-mongerer. If Dalton can manage any kind of offense, I think the Cougs are in trouble.
That said, it's time for my prediction.
BYU 27 TCU 22
GO COUGS!
Joe, I love your ability to take an issue, clear away all the bullcrap, and get right to the pure truth of the matter. Just think of how much difference could be made if every normal person would blow the head off of just one redhead (they can't die unless they're decapitated).
ReplyDeleteInteresting that your score prediction is the same as the final score in '07 between these two. I will say BYU 24 TCU 20. BYU preserves the victory with an amazing defensive stand at the end of the game.
Good eye on the score, Steve-O. I'm agreeing with you. Defensive stand to end the game.
ReplyDeleteThat Carrot Top picture will haunt my dreams forever. Please make it stop.
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