I get diarrhea this time every year.
Unforgiving bubbling in my guts and pinched buttocks are the calling cards of the week leading up to the Utah game. And each year when the game is final, I promise to put the game into perspective for the next year so I don't have to worry about future brown-spotting—but I never follow through.
So, I've decided to give in. I don't want to put the game into perspective. I like hating those wankers up north. It's part of who I am. But what has my interest now are the reasons I hate the Utes and more importantly, their kingdom of wife-beating-asshole fans.
I didn't go to BYU so I have no academic loyalties, and I'm sure there are thousands of great people I would would want to call "friend" who attend or attended the U. In fact, I have 3 close friends who did attend the U.
Great guys.
I think it all comes back to the scientific data I entered earlier as evidence: Utah fans are assholes.
Throughout the week I will be posting evidence of what Ute fans have given the world—other than syphilis.
It KILLS me that I can't watch this game. Stab a Ute fan in my honor, somebody!
ReplyDelete(not my sister, please)
Gregan, I may have a secret link for you to watch the game online. It's a link BYU coaches give out to recruits and family members of players who can't make the game.
ReplyDeleteOnly problem is they don't give it away until the day before.
I'll keep you posted.
That would be sooo sweet. I'd be eternally infinitely incomprehensibly grateful if you can make that happen.
ReplyDelete